I accidentally had phone sex last night
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
