You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
