Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
