sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
