You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize