I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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