Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do you remember whose house we're in?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
