Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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