After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
accomplished twins. life is a go
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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