I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
