do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
