He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
