He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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