Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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