Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
