Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
