i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
