He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize