Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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