I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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