it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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