we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
