Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
