i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
