Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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