we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
