he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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