Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize