i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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