Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
