p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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