I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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