I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
