Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I heard we made out
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Mom said you looked used
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize