Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
