I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My vagina just clenched in fear
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
