.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
