hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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