HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
