Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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