So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize