is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
