Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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