yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
