Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
