Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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