16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
