Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
