Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
