dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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