Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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