why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
