mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
