i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
