I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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