Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
