y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
