what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
