Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
